When most people think about eating disorders, they may picture women or young girls restricting their food and weight. That image causes us to miss a growing number of boys and men who are struggling quietly, and often in plain sight. Instead of:

• trying to be smaller, many are trying to be bigger.
• avoiding food, they may be rigid, obsessive, or secretive about it.
• skipping the gym, they may feel unable to stop going.

This pattern is often referred to as bigorexia, clinically known as muscle dysmorphia. And while the name may be newer to the public, the struggle itself is not.

What Is Bigorexia?

Bigorexia, also called muscle dysmorphia, is a condition where someone becomes intensely preoccupied with the belief that their body is not muscular enough, even when they are already strong or visibly muscular.

It is currently classified as a subtype of body dysmorphic disorder, not a standalone eating disorder. But, the behaviors often overlap significantly with eating disorders, including:

• rigid or rule-based eating
  
  
• binge–restrict cycles
  
  
• compulsive or excessive exercise
  
  
• anxiety when routines are disrupted
  
  
• body checking and constant dissatisfaction
  
  
• secrecy and shame

The driving force isn’t health or fitness. It’s control, pressure, and fear of not being enough.

Why Eating Disorders in Boys Are Often Missed

Bigorexia doesn’t match the stereotype most families are taught to watch for. Instead, these behaviors are often praised as:

• discipline
  
  
• motivation
  
  
• athletic dedication
  
  
• “good habits”
  
  
• self-improvement
  
  

In boys especially, cultural messages reinforce the idea that pushing harder, ignoring discomfort, and building muscle equals strength and success. That makes it harder to recognize when a coping strategy has crossed into something harmful.

What’s changing now isn’t the presence of eating disorders in boys. It’s slightly increased awareness. And even that awareness often lags far behind the behavior.

Signs Families and Partners Often Overlook

Bigorexia, like other eating disorders, tends to hide behind routines that look productive on the outside.

Some common warning signs include:

• compulsive or excessive workouts
  
  
• distress or panic when workouts are missed
  
  
• chronic exhaustion or frequent injuries
  
  
• irritability, anxiety, or mood changes
  
  
• rigid food rules or “clean eating” taken to extremes
  
  
• disappearing after meals
  
  
• social withdrawal
  
  
• dissatisfaction with appearance despite visible muscle
  
  

One of the most important red flags isn’t physical at all. It’s secrecy. When food, exercise, or body concerns can’t be talked about openly, or feel charged with shame or defensiveness, it’s worth paying attention.

This Isn’t About Vanity. It’s About Coping

For many boys and men, bigorexia is not about wanting to look good. It’s about:

• managing anxiety
  
  
• earning approval
  
  
• feeling in control
  
  
• coping with pressure from sports, peers, or social media
  
  
• avoiding feelings of inadequacy
  
  

The body becomes the place where pressure gets managed. And because this coping style is often reinforced by praise or performance outcomes, it can take a long time before anyone questions the cost.

What to Do If Your Gut Says Something’s Off

You don’t need certainty to take action. You need curiosity and support. Helpful first steps include:

• asking open-ended questions without accusation
  
  
• focusing on how they’re feeling, not how they look
  
  
• noticing patterns rather than isolated behaviors
  
  
• involving medical and mental health professionals early
  
  
• asking doctors directly about eating disorders and compulsive exercise
  
  

If something feels off, trust that instinct. Early support can prevent years of deeper struggle.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

I’ve created practical guides to support parents and partners who are concerned about boys and men struggling with food, body image, or compulsive exercise.

These guides include:

• questions to ask your son, husband, or boyfriend
  
  
• what to ask a doctor to rule in or rule out an eating disorder
  
  
• how to start conversations without escalating fear or shame
  
  

👉 You can find these resources on my website

Early awareness makes a difference.

Siah Fried, MPH, NBC-HWC

Move FORWARD Health & Parent Coaching Program

www.siahfriedcoach.com